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1.
Get Sick 05:18
You're paranoid about pesticides The radiation in the wine Carcinogens you breathe in Neurotoxins absorbed through the skin When you get sick But you don't die For a long time Crying in the shower In the middle of the night Jesus Christ Shadows, white noise, nurses, and decoys Things that go bump in the night We contained it while we could Now it's lurking through neighborhoods I tried to understand But I just don't When you get sick But you don't die For a long time This painful machine, he'd had enough Ripped the tubs out, stopped the clock Hearts like to beat, eyes like to see Brains like to think, lungs like to breathe So how am I supposed to heal if I can't even sleep Beep beep beep Will you hold my hand I don't know where I am Will you hold my hand I want to die in my own bed When you get sick But you don't die For a long time This is a loss I'm confident will only amplify As time goes by And your body shuts down Like some good Christian town For some holiday They know nothing about And still somehow think it counts When you get sick But you don't die For a long time
2.
With all this space And no where to live I go to waste I get violent And if I hurt you It was my last intent Born on fire I do not repent All I have Is time left First it was not Then it was so For it’s worth It was worth zero There’s what you wanted You get something else Cuz empty hands grasp At hourglass sand There is no plan Time left Graft versus host When you can’t even make the most of it Graft versus host You can’t take it with you Use it up, wear it out Make it due or do without Use it up, wear it out Make it due or do without Use it up, wear it out Make it due or do without All I have Is time left There is no plan Time left
3.
Do what the doctors say Take the pills on the tray Maybe you'll be okay Or maybe you'll have to stay What's in your head There's no cure for yet So I will hold your hand Cause what you've got I can't catch You know what you've gotta do now You just don't know if you can fake it We can take our widows Put them in their watches We can take our terminal Put them into hospice With the night pressing down The furnace goes out Your hands hold your face As you begin to hallucinate I don't know what I gotta do now I love you but I just can't take it Of course you wanna come home After all the months and medications Pacing the halls Without shoelaces Even when you're back in the sun A slow havoc stalks and it spares no one So the question becomes when you're lost in the woods Can you find a way We all gotta do what we gotta do But to the end, we all make it We all are gonna do what we wanna do In the end, you can't escape it
4.
A running car A closed garage door That broken window You forgot about You got close darling Emergency room darling Your love's no good A razor blade A bathroom darin The look on your face The thoughts in your brain You got close darling Emergency room darling My love's no good Prescription pills Medical bills When you start to convulse During the overdose You got close darling Emergency room darling Our love's no good
5.
I'm truly ashamed about how I turned out The embarrassing things that come out my mouth Cause I'm drunk and I'm stoned, I talk shit, I'm alone I break plates, hide my face, alienate, slip away I'll give you my blood To make your engine run I can't see you with those IVs and tracea tube Gift shop balloons, floating through the room, reading get well soon without a clue It's hard to stay take it day to day or that good things are coming my way There were complications, it's always something I'll give you my blood To make your engine run I know this place cause they're all the same and while I fear change, I want everything So we find our own kind of antidote while we still think the road will take us home But you're not where you're from no more It should have been me that death came for There's nothing else, nothing else, nothing Nothing else, nothing else, nothing I gave you my blood But it wasn't enough
6.
Suns out Guns out In America There's nothing to be done, so don't ask why There's nothing to be done, so don't even try In America You asked for help, they give you some pills You asked for help, you can't pay the bills In America A quiet neighborhood, no one knew the other Head's in the ground, while everything caught fire We all believe the same thing When they're bleeding out We all believe the same thing But for fear itself
7.
Stuck 03:55
Stuck in a rut Flying off the cuff Most always drunk The things I do To my self And those I love Clothes never match Cars built to crash Last of the stash Resigned to the fact I'm here But just to exist Am I free to do that which doesn't occur to me Wait until I tell them I'm nothing and see Does it really matter when nothing really matters to me Wait until I tell them I'm free One crooked tooth Never tell the truth When there's not a chance For the hell of it I go And do it again I'm not a kid I need a fix Assume I'm struggling The pieces just won't fit I've fucked up Quite a bit (Chorus) Wait until I tell them I'm free Marching to my own heartbeat
8.
Off Course 03:36
Of course I drink at bars alone All my friends are married and home Sometimes I think that the way I know Is the only way that things can go It's what I fear the most As the trail goes cold What I wouldn't give for one weekend With my skeleton not trying to crawl out of my skin Garage is closed, oven's cold, doors are locked, lights are off Keys, wallet, phone, don't know what I forgot It's what I fear the most As the trail grows cold Now I'm drunk at home alone Why it doesn't help I don't know What you say is what you are Even Pluto has a heart It's what I fear the most As the trail grows cold Faker Belly acher Relapse And recover Goddamnit, you've got to try Goddamnit babies, you've got to be kind.

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First of four 8 track albums to be released in the next few months.

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released January 25, 2020

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Brian Kael Bloomington, Illinois

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